When I was in the 8th grade, I remember getting ready to go to dance class and while standing in my leotard, my mom noticed my right shoulder blade was oddly sticking out. She came over and tried pushing my shoulder blade in and saw a difference in the profusion of my shoulder blades. She made an appointment with my pediatrician and after bringing it to her attention, she mentioned it was very possible I may have a curvature in my spine from scoliosis. I had no idea what that really meant. All I knew at that time was my middle school did a scoliosis screening and I passed with flying colors back in 6th grade, so how could my spine start curving now? I was referred to see a scoliosis specialist at All Children’s Hospital in St. Pete. I remember getting my first x-rays done to check for scoliosis and feeling a mixture of emotions ranging from terrified to intimidated and nervous. I then met with Dr. Neustadt, the scoliosis specialist. (Little did I know he would become very special to me)! To be honest, it was intimidating meeting him. He appeared to be very professional, stoic, and transparent. He looked at the x-ray and confirmed I had scoliosis, at the time a slight 20-degree curve. He educated me on what scoliosis was and what steps I should take moving forward. It was decided that my best option was to get a hard brace to sleep in every night to prevent the progression of the curve. I went to the orthopedic clinic and got fitted for a hard cast brace. I even got to make pink snakeskin (which I still have today)! I wore the brace every night, even though it was extremely uncomfortable to sleep in, and tried my best to wear it as much as possible to slow the onset of the curve. Unfortunately, my scoliosis kept getting worse and I started getting worse pain in my back due to the curvature. My shoulders were uneven when I stood and I started getting a noticeable hump on the right side of my back.
By the time junior year of high school rolled around, I was having frequent visits with Dr. Neustadt as my curvature was progressing. I began to really like Dr. Neustadt and got along really well with his sense of humor while appreciating his honesty throughout the process. I had a discussion with Dr. Neustadt about spinal fusion surgery. At this point, my curve was over 50 degrees which he suggested was the point in which surgery needs to be considered. I felt a bit helpless not knowing what to do. My family and I made the decision that surgery would be the best option moving forward, and I wanted to have it done before I went off for college. We booked the surgery for July before my senior year of high school. It finally came to the day before my surgery and I went to the hospital for a pre-surgery appointment in which I had to draw a lot of my own blood in case of needing a transfusion for the surgery. I then had a meeting with Dr. Neustadt and voiced my concerns. I’ve been a dancer since I was three years old and it has always been a passion of mine. I asked him, “What is the possibility of me dancing again after surgery?” Dr. Neustadt in his transparent manner explained that he could not promise me I would dance again and was transparent about the fact that I would lose a lot of flexibility in my back. I may not be able to touch my toes. Since I had both a thoracic and lumbar curvature in my spine, it looked like I needed to have rods and screws fused from the top to the bottom which meant my flexibility would be nearly gone. Honestly, I was quite devastated. There went my years of training and hard work along with my dream of performing on the Miss America stage. I had decided for myself at that moment that my dancing days were over.
Fast forward post-surgery, I spent about 5 days total in All Children’s receiving bedside care and attention from their incredible staff. I definitely did not feel a thing since the first words I asked post-surgery were “When is surgery happening?” I immediately saw myself hooked up to multiple machines with different IVs sticking out of my arms. It was scary. I had great nurses taking care of me who explained everything. Dr. Neustadt later came in and explained that surgery went incredibly well, so well in fact that he didn’t have to fuse my entire spine. He said that since my spine was very flexible, once they fused the part of my spine, the lower spine basically adjusted itself to the best it could be. That was a huge relief for me. I had a great experience staying in the hospital, eating pancakes and drinking slushes, watching hours of Family Feud, and even started walking down the halls a day after surgery. I remember Dr. Neustadt giving me a mirror and showing me the scar down my back. At first, I was in shock, but I soon accepted that this would forever be part of me. I cannot thank the staff at All Children’s and Dr. Neustadt for taking such impeccable care of me.
While the stay in the hospital was great, especially with the morphine pump. The recovery at home was not easy. It was a lot of pain to deal with and I found it very hard to get comfortable or to fall asleep. I couldn’t really perform physical exercise and had to be sedentary, while all of my friends were running around having fun. I took that summer to recover the best I could before starting my senior year of high school.I also only told a few friends about getting this surgery done because I didn’t want my peers to know. I thought getting this surgery and having this scar down my back made me less than my peers. I was ashamed to discuss what I had been through for some reason.
After having a post operative meeting a few months after surgery, Dr. Neustadt and I discussed the potential to get back into dance classes. About 6 months after surgery he said I could start performing slight physical exercise but to be very careful. I was determined to dance again and regain flexibility in my back. I remember going back to my first dance class after surgery. I had missed a few classes in my recovery but I now felt ready to go for it. About 15 minutes into my ballet class, I was beyond frustrated. I once was able to kick my leg up to my head and bend my back over, and now all of my flexibility has almost diminished and my years of training were gone. However, I was determined to not give up. I realized I had to learn how to dance with my new back and be the best that I could be. I worked very hard and a few months later in April, I made the University of Florida dance team – the dazzlers! I was so proud of how far I had come. I now started embracing my scar and surgery not as a weakness, but as my strength. I was motivated to push past my roadblock and pursue my passion for dance.
I was fully convinced that I could pursue my dream of becoming Miss America and now dancing on the Miss America stage! Today, I am Miss Florida 2021 and proud to say I will be doing exactly that at Miss America’s 100th Anniversary Competition this December. I will be performing a jazz dance to Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” to share my story with America about never giving up on your dreams and never letting your roadblocks stop you from pursuing your passions! Looking back, I am proud of myself for the growth I have demonstrated throughout this process. At times, it was terrifying and devastating, but it has also proven to be incredible and motivating. I have shown resilience and grit in never giving up on my dreams. I may have been bent, but never broken. My scar is not my weakness – it is my strength, and I will proudly showcase my scar and the scoliosis community every day that I can!
To learn even more about Leah, please visit her website by clicking on the link below:
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